A Different Take on Sochi 2014

With only a few hours till the Sochi Olympics open, we’re a bit over all the doomsday reporting and the “no door knobs” stuff (NB: in Soviet Russia, doorknob opens you). So here’s a different perspective on Sochi news.

Now everyone’s heard about the twin toilet.

sochi twin toilets

What everyone said: The money for the partition was stolen/the builders were drunk/those crazy Russians.

What we say: Before, only ladies who went to trendy clubs had the joys of twobicles. Sochi is simply defying gender stereotypes and giving men the opportunity to socialize in/on/around the loo.

Bonus: The Olympic toilet that dreams are made of, with an inspiring panorama, built-in skis and, look – an intact doorknob! Unique live-skiing experience toilet in Sochi

The canteen signs in “English”

What everyone said: Well, there’s not really much to say, except “tongue in test” and “cake in ass”.


What we say: Sochi encourages you to think outside the box. Will that tongue get through that test? And if there are cakes in ass, surely this must be the happiest place on earth?

Bonus: Apply your lateral thinking to this sign:

luge tickets for sochi olymics

The “dangerous face water”

What everyone said: Water in hotels is either not there or is… yellow

yellow water in Sochi

What we say: Frankly, why bother with water when there is this?

In Sochi, soup of the day is vodka

Bonus: 1.5 liters of gin&tonic for 6 dollars. Win.

 huge bottle of Russian gin and tonic

And some under-reported Sochi news

The Jamaican bobsleigh team has lost its two-man their bob. It went missing en route to Sochi. We’re not too worried though, we’ve seen Cool Runnings. Everything will work out fine. Guys from Jamaica lost their bob. Reference to Cool Runnings

Opening ceremony goss from Forbes magazine: the Olympic mascots “will emerge on a strange scooter-bicycle-snowboard hybrid. The bear will wave his paw and beam sunnily, the Leopard will wear a predatory grin, while the giant Hare will smile seductively, winking at the spectators”. Mmm, seductive, winking Hare.

 sochi olympic mascots

Rest assured, Bears&Vodka will be keeping its paws on the Sochi pulse. Stay tuned!

By Marina Taiga

Marina Taiga is said to own Moscow’s only petting zoo of koalas, kangaroos and kookaburras, which she keeps on the balcony of her studio apartment. Her neighbours aren’t pleased, but she distracts them with delicious vegetarian borsch.