With only a few hours till the Sochi Olympics open, we’re a bit over all the doomsday reporting and the “no door knobs” stuff (NB: in Soviet Russia, doorknob opens you). So here’s a different perspective on Sochi news.
Now everyone’s heard about the twin toilet.
What everyone said: The money for the partition was stolen/the builders were drunk/those crazy Russians.
What we say: Before, only ladies who went to trendy clubs had the joys of twobicles. Sochi is simply defying gender stereotypes and giving men the opportunity to socialize in/on/around the loo.
Bonus: The Olympic toilet that dreams are made of, with an inspiring panorama, built-in skis and, look – an intact doorknob! 
The canteen signs in “English”
What everyone said: Well, there’s not really much to say, except “tongue in test” and “cake in ass”.
What we say: Sochi encourages you to think outside the box. Will that tongue get through that test? And if there are cakes in ass, surely this must be the happiest place on earth?
Bonus: Apply your lateral thinking to this sign:
The “dangerous face water”
What everyone said: Water in hotels is either not there or is… yellow
What we say: Frankly, why bother with water when there is this?
Bonus: 1.5 liters of gin&tonic for 6 dollars. Win.
And some under-reported Sochi news
The Jamaican bobsleigh team has lost its two-man their bob. It went missing en route to Sochi. We’re not too worried though, we’ve seen Cool Runnings. Everything will work out fine. 
Opening ceremony goss from Forbes magazine: the Olympic mascots “will emerge on a strange scooter-bicycle-snowboard hybrid. The bear will wave his paw and beam sunnily, the Leopard will wear a predatory grin, while the giant Hare will smile seductively, winking at the spectators”. Mmm, seductive, winking Hare.
Rest assured, Bears&Vodka will be keeping its paws on the Sochi pulse. Stay tuned!
